Looking Back With Love

𝕃𝕠𝕠𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕓𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 & 𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕡𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕕 𝕚𝕟 𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕖 ...

5 year old little Pia, gosh you are adorable 🥰

A very pretty child with a cheerful & curious personality

Innocent & assuming good from everyone

Chatty, day dreamer dancing & skipping,

playful, friendly & eager to please

Loving & just wanting to be loved

Learnt early on to quietly amuse herself & not ask for what she wants

Praised for not being pushy, loud or demanding

So sweet ...

You grew up thinking you wanted to look less 'sweet', your teen years couldn't figure out why your friendship wasn't returned- not cool enough I guess ... somehow you were quirky but not outrageous enough

Intelligent but not an honor student

Creative in art & music but not a prodigy ...

I wanted to be 'worth' paying attention to for a talent

I had big profound thoughts that no one understood

I went from tiny tween to voluptuous teen overnight & got attention I did not want but i wasn't cool Anglo girl sexy or pretty

At 15 I figured out that I did fit in with the intellectual, bolshe, montypython crew EXCEPT I came from the wealthy side of the tracks so didn't really fit; I did not fit in with the rich white girls either.

So I spent my adult life trying to be working class & impoverished in income; just so I could fit in with the groups that shared my values.

Now at 50 I look at little Pia & ask her to help me find my playfulness again ...

I tell her that if she asks others to play they will join in.

I tell her that I can actually have wealth & still hold my working class, anti capitalist, social justice values.

I am sorry little Pia that I walked you into two abusive marriages because I didn't value you or think you were perfect as you were.

I love you Pia at 5, at 15, at 25, at 35 & at 50

You are a sparkling Spirit, kind, smart, creative, witty, quirky, adventurous, generous, industrious, loving, attractive, h honorable, successful, courageous & just keep getting better & better

Little Pia I see you, I promise to nurture you, play with you, celebrate you & always protect you, from now on!

I will speak my desires & go after what I want ....

No more shrinking to fit in or forcing myself to be larger than life either

I am enough!

I have nothing to prove

The loving Universe awaits ...

👉 Have you given a few moments lately to appreciate your inner child?